The Boat-Man

After everything that happened with the Wedding-Boy and a couple of other things going badly for me at the time, I naturally needed a little pick-me up. Cue, internet dating and The Boat-Man.

Now I needed a lift and what better lift is there than a bit of attention so I decided to upload a profile to a London based dating website. I figure that I'm going to be moving back to England next year and its always good to put the feelers out so to speak and I just wanted to see whether I would get any interest.

Its been so much fun! I've had quite a few responses and I've really enjoyed having an online flirt. You have the ability to add people as favourites, basically creating a shortlist of people that you think are hot or want to keep an eye on. If you want to message someone you have to pay to sign up. Now don't laugh but I was having so much fun that I signed up for one month so I could reply to some of the messages I'd received.

So, I got an email saying that this guy had added me as a favourite, I'm thinking, hey I'm doing well at this, nearly 30 people have shortlisted me now. I look at his profile and it says a little bit about himself followed by "AmyJoanne if you are out there, send me a message". My username is AmyJoanne and I'm thinking, hmmm this is bit strange, I wonder if he meant to write that in a message to me rather than broadcast it to all of the online community. So I sent him a message asking whether what he had written in his profile was supposed to be a message to me and he said that at first he was a free member without the ability to message people so he thought he'd give that way a go to catch my eye. Anyway, we message and I like the way he writes and he seems pretty cool, perhaps a little too optimistic but taken with a pinch of salt he's ok.

I mention that I'm next back for a weekend in November but in Liverpool. After a few emails we've arranged to meet up on the Sunday afternoon as he has work to do up in Liverpool on the Monday. He calls me that week and we speak on the phone for almost two hours - crazy!

I'm playing it a little cool though, not going to get all caught up in it like I did last time with the Wedding-Boy, but how ironic, a month prior to this I was traveling to Liverpool for a date and now someone is doing it for me!

So, we met at Liverpool Lime Street (I appear to be making a bit of a habit of meeting boys there...). I was wearing nice slim jeans (not too skin tight) with my favourite brown work-man boots, a blue checked shirt and a new black jacket. I admit I was looking pretty good, hair was sitting well, skin glowing and eyes were sparkling. The Boat-Man showed up looking totally English complete with dark brown cords, white collar-less shirt, green v-neck jumper and a Barbour jacket (he was just missing the Hunter wellies!).

We walk to a pub which he knows of, very nautical, there was even a sailor eating in there complete with uniform and hat. We have a drink there and he tells me a bit about himself. We talk about where we grew up. It transpires that he comes from a very nautical family where his family runs a shipping company, hence the Boat-Man name. His father is Norwegian and he spent three years living over there and did his military service there in the navy.

After our drink we take a walk to the docks and went to see the Shakleton exhibition at the Royal Maritime Museum. The whole time the conversation is flowing quite nicely and there are no awkward moments. After the exhibition we crossed the docks to a little wine bar/shop. He seems a really lovely guy and as a date I can't really fault it. He did seem a little keen for my liking and I don't know whether that was because I was being deliberately guarded. I was very adamant with myself that I wasn't going to get carried away with it all after what happened with the Wedding-Boy. I feel like he may be putting all his eggs in one basket by going on a date with me where as I'm happy to be out dating a variety of people and am messaging about five guys on this site. Don't get me wrong, I was my natural flirty self but think I sent some mixed signals over by being a bit guarded. He said that he deliberately said some things to me on the phone prior to meeting just to see what my reaction was. For example, he mentioned that we might have an excellent date and that I'd want to go back to England to get married (to him). I said it didn't happen two years ago and it would be very unlikely to move back just for love.

I walked him back to his hotel and quite trusting of me I guess, I walked him up to his hotel room. We had a snog and he was a bit cheesy with some of the lines, saying that he had dry lips and how he wanted some of my lip balm and then proceeded to kiss me. Now not being a particularly romantic person myself, that's the kind of thing that makes me giggle but in a mocking way but he didn't seem to be phased by that. In fact, I think he said that he liked my slight sarcastic, take every thing with a pinch of salt tone. It was clear that he was hoping that more would have happened, I suppose me going up to his room didn't help, but I told him that I don't put out on a first date, well he didn't need to know about my previous Liverpudlian experience.

So after a couple of snogs, he walked me out to the reception and I left to get a cab back to where I was staying. We said that we'd see each other for a second date when I'm next back although, this was now over a month ago and its been a while since I last heard from him. He's very nice (although perhaps a little bit too try-hard), and he seemed to like me which is good. So I guess we'll meet when I'm next back and see how it goes from there.

The Boy-Who-Should've-Known-Better

Now technically this boy belongs to 2009 however he did make a brief reappearance back at in the Autumn. A quick history for you: he's a friend of a friend who I had a bit of a one night stand with. Neither of us were after anything more however a few months after said incident, he did often at a last minute invite me to parties however I could never go due to other plans.

Well he's now engaged and as ego-tastic as this may sound, seems to still have a little thing for me. We both ended up at the same party earlier this year where he immediately showed his tactile nature once again. Now I've been told that I'm naturally quite a flirtatious person and perhaps this is what contributed to the Boy-Who-Should've-Known-Better's reappearance.

At some point in the evening we both went out for a cigarette and a chat where he proceeded to tell me how much he still fancied me. I'll take a compliment graciously as well as the next girl but when the compliments are free flowing as much as they were that night, well that indicates something else.

So, it was mentioned by the boy that he wanted to kiss me or go back to mine. I called his bluff and said "all right then". But no, I have more morals than that. What did happen though is that I walked back into the building and continued walking up the stairs, he followed, we kissed, it was very good.

I may be now seen as some scarlet woman. I may be the one who gets all the blame but in my defence, he's a grown man who should've known better. I only hope that he now feels guilty and he wont do it again. On saying to me that he'd "never done anything like this before" I merely warned him "not to make a habit out of it". 

The Wedding-Boy

So, Wedding-Boy. Well I was at a wedding at the end of September and was standing by the dance floor chatting with some friends when all of a sudden this guy comes up to me, holds out his hand for me to take and pulls me on to the dance floor. He's very cute and we start chatting and we don't stop until the end of the evening. We exchange numbers and he invites me out to lunch the next day. Unfortunately for me I'm leaving really early the next morning so I can't stay for lunch but I figure, hey, I'm on holiday, I have no plans, why don't I get the train on Tuesday to Liverpool and we have a drink and dinner and I stay over somewhere.

So that's what we do. I met him at Lime Street, we checked into a hotel where bless him, he'd booked a twin room, go and have a drink, have dinner and have another drink and then go back to the hotel. Lots of kissing, a bit of playing about - thank goodness for the new underwear I bought the day before just in case, and then he have sex - eeeeeek!

He's lovely, we really clicked. I don't want to compare him to my ex but it was so effortless with the Wedding-Boy. There was no awkwardness, conversation flowed, we were laughing, he's gorgeous, just like it was with my ex. He said he really wanted to see me again and I definitely wanted to see him again and spent most of that week looking for flights back to Manchester.

Ok, still with me? Not lost in a world of Kirstin Dunst films just yet?

So I spoke to him a couple of days later and then again the next weekend, however it was quite a quick chat as it was quite late. He did say though that I had to let him know that I got back safely to Sweden the next day. So the next afternoon whilst I was at the airport I was all in a tizz because I didn't know whether to request his friendship or not on facebook - pathetic I know. So I requested it and when I was on the train back to Sweden from Copenhagen I had a message from him, half in Swedish saying not to forget to let him know that I got back ok. I'm thinking, he's very sweet and caring!

I met up with my girlie friends back in Sweden after work for a coffee and told them all about my date where in true girlie form we were very giggly about it all. After coffee I went back and Wedding-Boy and I skyped. We chatted for just over half an hour and it was all good. It was very much general conversation about lots of things but it was nice to have a completely effortless conversation about just general conversation.

Now at this point I'm thinking of inviting him over to a Halloween party over here. A friend said I should just do it and invite him saying that our first date was spontaneous and crazy with me going to Liverpool so this one should be too, but with him coming to Sweden instead. So I think, ok, I'll text him later. However I don't want to be the one doing all the asking out though, especially after probably coming over all desperate with constantly asking out the Bagel Man.

So a couple of days later I got sent home from work ill and I was just doing a bit of internet spying when I notice that there's a lot of interaction on his twitter page between himself and another girl. It looks like they are going to meet up in a couple of days time. (I know, I'm only setting myself up here for a fall) however I decided to follow my friend's advice and sent him a text that Thursday saying "A friend of mine is having a dead celeb Halloween party. Its sounds like fun, I think you should come along too!" But I never heard anything back from him, not even a sorry, I can't.

I'd been waiting for a response from him and had still heard nothing. A few days later I see he's online on skype so I send him a message saying hi. We chat for a bit, he's in the middle of packing because he's going on holiday the next day so the conversation isn't particularly flowing. I say to him that I'm thinking of flying back to Liverpool for a friend's party the first weekend of November and does he fancy meeting up. To which he types, that sounds good but he has to tell me that he's started to see another girl now.

Gutting! I feel like such a fool for getting so carried away with it all and what annoys me more is the fact that this has essentially pushed my one night stand total up another notch. On complaining about this to a friend she did comment that she had recently decided that we're not going look like we do now for ever so we really should make the most of being young, fairly slim and unsaggy. Now, she's not saying that she's gone off on a one night stand rampage but on the occasions that it may happen, we can appreciate the fact that we are young and pretty and looking back in 20 years, we'll be pleased we made the most of it!

And on breaking my not putting out until the third date rule? Well this was technically a holiday romance and holiday romances never last!

The Bagel-Man

Now this could quite possibly be the story of the biggest crush in the world. Enter the Bagel-Man. Some have said that he looked a bit like Calvin from Hollyoaks. Others have said he was just fit! Well, this one started a long time ago, March 2009 to be precise when serving me my coffee a friend commented on how the Bagel-Man smiled at me more than at her and thus the crush began.

It seemed that everyone knew about my crush with the Bagel-Man, relatives, friends, friends I'd not even seen in years. Whenever anyone came to visit they all wanted to see him. Could I ever pluck up the courage to speak to him? No, I was always too shy. On the times that I did try to make conversation, my Swedish was always so appalling that any kind of attempt to talk left me completely embarrassed and flustered and incredibly annoyed with my lack of the Swedish language.

In its entirety this crush lasted for almost eighteen months before I actually did anything about it. Back in July a friend and I decided to go out for a glass of wine in town. The sun was shining and we wanted to sit outside so decided to go to the Bagel House. Now we were both looking pretty good that evening and after a glass of wine the confidence levels were starting to rise. Add another glass of wine to the mix and I finally pluck up the courage  to ask him whether he's going out later that night. He's not but I try a little bit more and ask whether he would fancy meeting for a drink at another time. He said yes so I offer him my number and he says to take his.

I was on cloud nine. I was so excited and practically skipped out of his establishment. My friend was like a proud mother, I'd finally done something.

So we text and it turns out that we're both planning to be at a certain bar during the week. I'm there with my friends he's there having dinner with his. He says hi to me as he walks in and all my friends get very giggly and excited. Now, I admit, I was looking pretty good that evening, hair sitting well, good clothes, lovely long legs courtesy of my favourite heels and skinny jeans. He had finished eating and his friend had left the table for a moment. It was at this point that I noticed the determinism in all my friends, this was it as far as they were concerned, my chance to actually chat to the Bagel-Man. Cue me being quite literally propelled off my seat into the seat next to his where I then remained for the rest of the evening.

So we chatted. Conversation flowed nicely. There was lots of flirty smiles, drinks bought and no awkwardness. It was great. I don't know where the evening went but at some point I realised that all my friends had left me sitting there and they had all gone home. Now this wasn't a problem, I was going to get a taxi home anyway, however on saying this to the Bagel-Man, he said no, he was going to give me a lift home. His cousin drove us home and it was at this point that in my slightly drunken state I appreciated the following:

1) I automatically went to sit in the back of the car, where he then came and sat next to me and had his arm around me.

2) He walked me back to my front door.

3) He said he had had a really nice evening and kissed me on the cheek.

On immediate reflection I was thinking that this was one was going to be a winner so texts were exchanged mainly with me asking him out to various parties and events. Each time he's working but said he'd try to make it. At this point I haven't given up hope that something could potentially come of all this, after all, I had been holding a crush for the past eighteen months, I wasn't going to give up just yet. However, there's only so many times that a girl can ask out a guy without it all seeming a little bit desperate, which unfortunately, it was probably heading to. There was a small glimmer of hope; I invited him to my birthday party to which he genuinely seemed to want to come to, even spoke to a few of my friends about it and how he hoped he could get someone to cover his shifts so he could come and join the party. Unfortunately that wasn't to happen.

In reflection I'm glad that I did finally pluck up the courage to speak to the Bagel-Man. I'm glad that I asked him out. You never know unless you try but as much as you have a crush on someone, unfortunately it doesn't mean that its going to manifest into something, but I guess you'll never know unless you do try though!

The Friend

At some point in the spring of this year it was noted just how nicely myself and a friend got on, in fact, the friend who also wanted more romance in their life for this year. Cue the rest of my friends now seeing me as their project and trying to set us up.

So I ended up being invited round to friends for dinners where in true Bridget Jones style I was the token single girl whilst The Friend was the token single guy. Yes we got on well and had a lot in common. Did I find him attractive? I'm not sure. Yet everyone was talking about us and getting a little bit excited. It was almost as if I had gone back in time to being 14 when a friend pulled me aside in a club and asked whether I liked him because he liked me but was too shy to say/do anything about it.

So I invited him round for dinner and to watch a film and it was nice evening, got a small kiss at the end of it too. But something just wasn't quite right, and I think the multitude of texts I received that night from everyone asking how the evening went didn't help. It really demonstrated to me just how small of a town I live in. I felt like I was in a goldfish bowl.

I went round to his for dinner a couple of days later and it was all just a little bit awkward. Although I guess I was only "courting" The Writer at the time, it felt a bit wrong to be spending this amount of time with The Friend. It was also just a little bit too exposed with everyone watching so I let another friend explain to him about The Writer at a party I didn't go to and I haven't heard from him since. 

I guess we weren't that good friends then!

The Writer

Now at the beginning of the year I was sort of dating a writer in London. We had worked together back in England and had known each other for some time, however it was only at the end of last year that any kind of potential relationship manifested itself. It was somewhat a little Mr Darcy and Elizabeth Bennett with our friends watching in the wings waiting for something to happen. He had liked me from afar without me knowing and as we spent more time together it seemed that there was some sort of spark - even if it was slow to ignite.

Now this was proper grown-up dating. I'm talking dinners, lunches, trips to the London Aquarium and it was fun. There was something there and I always made the time to see him when I was back in England. It was an odd situation though and although we had fun together, there was never enough time for us to spend any real time together. There was always something that got in the way, the Icelandic volcano and ridiculous amounts of work didn't help.

But perhaps the flame between us was too slow burning and with quite a distinct age gap and a whole load of other reasons, it just wasn't meant to be. I know I've got an amazing friend in him but sadly nothing more, but maybe that's for the best. At that point I was still very much living and loving Sweden and not looking to move back to England anytime soon.

But definitely a good and pro-active start on my more romance mission!

New Year's Resolutions

December 31st 2009. Myself and a good friend decided that our new year's resolution for 2010 would be to have more romance in our lives, not with each other, although there was a point in the year where that did look likely, but that's a different story. So I think its only fair to give a quick run down on my quest for romance and its results.

Change of Direction

I'm writing lots, you might be interested in my stories from this year...

Its been a while...

...I do apologise, not that I think many people read this but you never know....

So, what to do when you're feeling a bit crappy and the rain clouds are gathering over your head - join an online dating website that's what! I know it sounds crazy but its the best ego boost in the world. If you're with someone, hell, if you're married, everyone should sign up and let the compliments come in. I've had the best couple of weeks, its totally lifted my mood and may even get a couple of dates out of it when I'm next back in London - exciting times!